I’ve decided that when kids save their really offensively obnoxious behavior for when they are at home in their own family, it means that you (as a parent) are doing a pretty good job.
It means that (1) the kids know what is appropriate behavior (at least to some degree), (2) they can control themselves for extended periods of time, (3) they are actually capable of treating people with some amount of respect, and (4) they expect you to spin their crap into gold.
It’s number 4 that really does it. If they save all their really terrible stuff for when they’re at home alone with parents, it’s basically a huge vote of confidence. “Hey, mom and dad! These are the impulses I have when I’m out in the world, behaving myself. You better show me how to deal with this, or maybe I’ll just start acting this way all the time.”
I said “crap!” I don’t know what came over me. Sometimes I say “bad-ass” too. Somebody call the Catholic Women’s Association!